


Taken

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Bring Back The Porn Challenge, F/M, Het, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-01
Updated: 2009-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-03 22:58:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154





	Taken

_**Taken**_  
**Pairing:** Harry/Luna  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Word Count:** ~1880  
**Summary:** Luna helps Harry write a personal ad.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**Warnings:** Implied pegging  
**Beta:** [jadzialove](http://jadzialove.insanejournal.com/)-Thanks, darling. *smooches* Also thanks to [gryffindorj](http://gryffindorj.insanejournal.com/) for the once over. ♥  
**A/N:** Written for [bbtp_challenge](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/bbtp_challenge/).

Harry took a long drink of his ale. He'd lost count of how many he'd had. Another date, another fiasco. He never read the signals right it seemed. When he thought someone wanted a shag, invariably he ended up going home hard and when he wanted to take it slow, his date was half-naked by pudding. If this kept up, he'd only be dating Muggles, as at least they weren't star struck or looking to sell their story to the highest bidder.

"You should write a personal ad, Harry," Luna said as she sat down next to him on the sofa. Was he so drunk he hadn't heard her Floo in? She always seemed to appear whenever he needed someone to talk to, especially the post-date postmortem.

She really was the best friend he had outside of Ron and Hermione. Ever since Sirius died, he'd felt she really understood him when no one else even seemed to try.

"How do you do that?" he asked, setting down his empty bottle. On more than one occasion Harry had suspected she was a seer. She seemed to _know_ things.

"You're an open book, Harry," she said as a quill and parchment floated from his desk into her hands. "I should write it, your handwriting is hard to read."

He chuckled, there was really no use arguing with her. "It's worth a try, isn't it?" At the very least maybe she'd help him figure out just what was wrong with him.

"Wonderful. We'll put it in the _Quibbler_, under a pseudonym of course." Her eyes twinkled happily and he wondered if she weren't distantly related to Dumbledore. "Something like: Harold J. Evans-Blotter."

Harry was glad he wasn't drinking at the moment for surely he'd have spewed his ale all over the sitting room. "We'll consider that, yeah," he coughed, trying not to laugh too hard.

"No ginger hair." Harry's brows shot up at Luna's comment. "Sorry, Harry. That was terribly insensitive of me, but Ginny really wasn't right for you. Too much like marrying your mother."

Harry chortled.

"What about dark hair? You fancied Cho quite a bit, didn't you?"

"Yeah, she was a bit of all right at the time. I think Cedric got between us," Harry said.

"We aren't ready to discuss threesomes yet, Harry," Luna chided him but continued before he had a chance to object that she'd completely misunderstood him. "What about blonds?"

"I've never been attracted to blonds," he answered honestly.

"What about Draco?"

"Sorry? Did you say _Draco_? As in Malfoy?" He couldn't imagine finding Malfoy attractive. Actually, he didn't need to imagine it but the man was a bastard, plain and simple. No Malfoys, he thought to himself determinedly.

"He was a bit troubled, but he was very nice to look at. Everyone thought so. Now that I think of it, are you looking for a woman or a man?" Luna asked, quill perched above the parchment.

"Um, either." Harry looked away, suddenly wondering if this was such a good idea. She'd likely ask a lot of questions he really didn't want to answer. Not even to himself.

"Lovely. We'll start with women then. Do you like large breasts?" Luna asked as if they were discussing the likelihood of rain. Figuring he could play this game as well, he answered calmly.

"I like them to be big enough to have something to hold onto, yeah." He was proud of himself for not blushing crimson even though his insides twisted uncomfortably.

"Like mine?" She puffed out her chest and how could he not look? He had to admit they were just about right. "Can't you just imagine your hand around one, giving it a gentle squeeze? Thumb brushing over the nipple, teeth nibbling the pebbled skin." Luna sighed, almost more like a moan and Harry felt his cock twitch. He'd never thought of Luna like _that_ before and it was a bit shocking to consider it now. She did have quite lovely—

"Harry?"

"Right, sorry. Yeah, they're fine." He crossed his legs, hoping to hide the evidence of just how fine her breasts were in his estimation.

How many drinks had he had come to think of it? She was just a friend.

Even if she had great tits, lovely hips, and long legs.

"No wonder you're having poor luck on your dates, Harry, if that's how to talk to a woman about her breasts." She didn't seem offended, however. She scribbled a few more words that Harry couldn't make out. "We'll sort that out later. Next, do you like to dominate or be dominated?"

"What?" Her wide eyes stared into his so innocently he knew she wasn't kidding. "I'm not into domination or anything like that! Simple bloke, simple tastes. That's me."

"No, silly. I just want to know if you like to be in control, in charge. Some men really have the need to control the sex while others allow their inhibitions to fall away completely." She watched him closely, apparently waiting for an answer.

He ran a hand through his hair. Domination, indeed. "I need another beer. You want one?"

"That would be lovely, Harry." He nodded and went into the kitchen. After they finished their drinks, he'd send her on her way. Maybe he'd Incendio the parchment and Obliviate her as well. He snickered. As if.

Walking back into the sitting room, he handed her a bottle and she took a long pull from it before setting it down on the table.

"Thanks, Harry. I was getting quite thirsty as well as a little aroused. A nice drink always cools me down." She smiled and took up the quill once more. Harry's head was spinning. She'd lost him at _aroused_. They were mostly talking about tits as far as he could remember.

"You said you liked men, too, right?" Harry nodded. "Do you prefer to penetrate or be penetrated?"

"God, Luna," Harry gasped. "That's personal, isn't it?"

"I'm just trying to find the right someone for you, Harry." She patted his knee giving it a squeeze. Why was that bothering him? Luna was still talking, but Harry was having trouble concentrating. "A man that doesn't like being penetrated by another man is unlikely to allow a woman the same courtesy."

_That_ got his attention.

"Hey! You can't be buggered by a woman!" Harry burst out. "A bird doesn't have a prick!"

"Oh, Harry. You're so cute. Of course not." Luna wrote a few more things down on her parchment, looked Harry up and down appraisingly and then scratched out something. "The woman would need a strap-on."

Harry felt the blood rush away from his face. "What are you on about, Luna?" Did people really do that, he wondered.

"A woman needs to strap on a dildo. It's quite a remarkable thing. So much power channeled through a small bit of rubber." She giggled. "Or not so small if you like it that way."

To his abject horror, Harry felt his prick perking up once more. He looked down as his trousers as if he expected to see something other than his flies. Then he looked back up at Luna.

"I knew you were the sort of bloke that might like that," she smiled kindly. "All the best ones are, really. It can be quite enjoyable for both partners."

"Luna," Harry took the quill from her hand and set it down, "did you put something in my drink? I feel really odd right now."

"It could be the Wrackspurts or the Nargles. We likely won't know until morning."

"Morning?" Harry swallowed. Why did he feel like he'd lost the plot?

"We need to determine whether you prefer fanny or cock before I can finish writing the personal ad. You seem a bit confused about it all." She stood and began unbuttoning her blouse. "I think we'll have to try both and see."

"Luna," Harry said hoarsely, eyes glued to her smooth, round, _perfect_ tits. Why was he not surprised she wasn't wearing a bra?

"Fortunately, I always carry a dildo in my handbag," she said as the blouse slid to the floor revealing _miles_ of pale skin. "You never know when you might need it." She dropped her skirt and Harry groaned: she wasn't wearing any knickers either. Her nest of blond curls was at eye level. He unconsciously leaned forward, the heady scent of her wafting toward his nose when she knelt down on the floor in front of him and unzipped his flies.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're ready. It makes things so much easier." She pulled his prick from his pants and gave it a gentle stroke. "You have quite a nice cock, you should be proud of it. Sometimes they look so angry. I'd hate to have an angry prick inside me." She straddled his lap and slid easily down onto his length. She was so wet and warm; he wanted to stay inside her forever. She then took one of his hands and placed it on her breast.

"Mmm, yes," she murmured softly as she began slowly raising and lowering herself on him. His head was spinning from the drink and the sensations. Then she _squeezed_, and he let out a moan.

"Fuck, Luna." He shifted his hips, pushing up into her, both hands on her tits now. And he'd been right, they were perfect. He took a pink nipple into his mouth causing her to gasp which encouraged him further. He laved the pebbly flesh, his hands gently kneading the soft skin. She ran her hands through his hair and peppered his face with kisses as she moved faster, bouncing up and down on his cock.

Harry moved a hand down to her clit and used his thumb to rub the sensitive nub. Her breathing hitched and he felt her muscles clenching around him. As she breathed out a deep sigh, he buried his face between her breasts and came inside her. Harry let his head fall back as she slid her hands into his shirt and pinched a nipple, a shiver running down his spine.

"That was lovely, Harry," she said after a few moments. She slowly clambered off him. "Although, honestly, I think you might prefer men. Do you want to do this here or in the bedroom? I think you'll be more comfortable in a bed when I shag you, but really it makes no difference to me. I think the bedroom is safer. The Wrackspurts prefer to stay near the kitchen. I think they like tea and biscuits, although it's never been proven."

"Whatever you want," he said breathlessly. She always seemed to know what was best for him anyway. She took his hand and helped him stand up, then led him into the bedroom. As she shut the door, he couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful person he knew.

Although, it could have been the Nargles talking.

~~*~~

 

_ ~~Harold J. Evans-Blotter: SbiM aged 25, dark hair, green eyes, athletic build. Seeks SbiF with a great pair of tits and the ability to wield a dildo as if it were her own. Enjoys Quidditch, treacle tarts, and long walks under the stars. Send your owl and wizarding photo to Box 39, Hogsmeade.~~ _

_Withheld from publication._

_Luna Lovegood, co-editor-in-chief, _ The Quibbler


End file.
